A Matter of Pride
by queenpearl
Summary: From the barfight scene in "The Trouble with Tribbles". Features a humanized USS Enterprise.


In the middle of the bar sat a group of four humans in Starfleet uniforms. Sulu and Scotty were easily recognizable with a half drunk Ensign slumped down next to them. The fourth was a woman in a command gold uniform with curly long blonde hair and unusually blue eyes. She was the personification of the USS Enterprise herself. A nice waitress came by with their drinks. Enterprise was content with a martini. Chechov had vodka and Scotty, his Scotch.

"When are you gonna get off that milk diet lad?" Scotty asked Chechov. "This is Vodka!" The helmsman replied. "Where I come from, that's soda pop. Now this is a drink for a man." Scotty replied, lifting his class of scotch. "Scotch?!" Chechov asked in disbelief. "Aye." "Was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad." Chechov grumbled. Enterprise stifled a snicker.

The klingons at the bar were trying avoid the tribbles as they got their drinks. "The earth is like those fuzzy things." Their Commander began. "Frankly, I never liked earthers, they remind me of regulan bloodworms." He directed this towards the Starfleet table. Chechov scowled at him and Enterprise swallowed back her irritation. "That..." Chechov growled. "Easy lad." Scotty soothed. "You aughta be more forgiving." "Probably half drunk anyway." Enterprise agreed, taking another sip of her drink.

"Now, I just remembered." The Klingon continued, advancing on them. "There is one earthen who doesn't remind me of a regulan bloodworm. That's Kirk! A regulan bloodworm is soft and shapeless but Kirk isn't soft. Kirk may be a swaggering, overbearing tin-plated dictator with illusions of godhood. But he's not soft." Chechov took a huge swig of vodka and stood up and Enterprise gave the Klingon a death glare. No one insulted _her _captain. "Take it easy lad." Scotty told the Russian. "Everyone's entitled to an opinion." Knowing he'd struck a nerve, the Klingon pressed further. "That's right." He cooed. "And if I think that Kirk is a denebian slime devil then that's my opinon too." Chechov rose again. "Don't do it laddy, that's an order." Scotty growled. "Scott, you heard what he called the captain." Chechov gritted out. Enterprise too was struggling to contain her own anger though she managed to maintain more of a calm composure than the Russian did. "Forget it, it's not worth fighting for." Scotty said. "We're big enough to take a few insults. Now drink your drink." He passed him his scotch.

Seeing he was receiving no result from insulting Kirk, the Klingon turned his attention to the engineer. "Of course, we think Kirk deserves his ship. We like the Enterprise, we really do." He laughed. "That sagging, old rustbucket is designed like a garbage scow and half the quadrant knows it. That's why they're learning to speak Klingonese." "Mr. Scott!" Chechov hissed in outrage. Scotty glanced at his ship. Enterprise, to her credit, said nothing, keeping her eyes on the table. She was determined to carry out her captain's order not to cause trouble.

Scott looked at the Klingon, a dangerous look appearing in his eyes. "Laddy, don't you think you should rephrase that?" he asked. "You're right, I should." The Klingon replied. "I didn't mean to say the Enterprise should be hauling garbage, I meant to say it should be hauled away as garbage." He laughed. Scott looked at his ship again. This time Enterprise met his gaze, a burning fury in her eyes. She'd had her captain insulted, she'd had herself insulted, being called a garbage scow?! She had had enough!

Slowly, Scott rose from his seat and, in one swift move, punched the Klingon flat on his back. Enterprise was next to rise, driving a well aimed right hook into the nearest Klingon face. "No one calls _me _a garbage scow!" She hissed. Chaos insued after that as the whole bar became a battleground. Enterprise, with all the agility of a starship, weaved her way through the mass, slamming a fist or a foot into any Klingon that got near her. She lifted their commander and threw him down the bar table. "Have a nice sleep!" She growled.

Once it was over, the group was beamed back aboard and questioned by Kirk. "You're all confined to quarters until I can find out who started the fight!" He growled. "Dismissed!" They all started to leave. "Except you Mr. Scott. You too Enny." He added. Said engineer and ship stayed to face their captain's wrath. "You were supposed to prevent trouble!" Kirk growled to him. "Aye sir." Scott replied. "Who threw the first punch Scotty." Kirk asked. "I did sir." Scott replied sheepishly. "You, Mr. Scott." Kirk asked in disbelief. "What caused it Scotty?" He asked. "They insulted us sir." Scott replied. "Must've been some insult." Kirk murmured. "Aye, it was sir." Scott replied. "You threw the first punch." Kirk murmured to himself. "Aye sir. Checkov wanted to but I held him back." Scott replied. "You held... Why did Chechov want to start a fight?" Kirk asked. "Well the Klingon's, they... Is this off the record?" Scott asked. "No this is not off the record!" Kirk shouted. "Well, they uh... Klingon's called you uh, a tin-plated swaggering dictator with illusions of godhood." "Is that all?" Kirk asked, clearly unaffected. "No, they also compared you to a denevian slime devil!" Enterprise put in. "I see." Kirk mused. "And then they..." "I think I see the point Mr. Scott." Kirk cut in. "And after they said all this, that's when you hit the Klingons?" He asked. "No sir." Scott replied. "No." Kirk asked. "No, I didn't. After all you told us not to cause trouble and I didn't see it was worth fighting about. After all, we're big enough to take a few insults." Scott replied. Enterprise was hiding to fight a smirk at Kirk's confused expression. "What was it they said that started the fight?" Kirk asked. "They called the Enterprise a garbage scow!" Scott growled. "Sir." He added as an afterthought. "I see." Kirk murmured. "And that's when you hit the Klingon." He asked. "Yes sir." Scott replied, clearly not repentant for his actions. "You hit the Klingons because they insulted the Enterprise not because they..." Kirk mused. "Well sir, this was a matter of pride!" Scott growled. "Alright Scotty, you're dismissed. Oh and you're confined to quarters till further notice. You to Enny." Kirk said. "Yes sir." They both replied and walked out, Scott with an arm around Enterprise's shoulders. Kirk rolled his eyes, fighting back a smile.


End file.
